Tue, 21 Sep 2021 04:24:44 -0700WeeblySat, 29 Sep 2018 10:28:36 GMThttp://renelopeque.com/lessons/less-space-less-stuff-more-livingI was watching a video of Oprah in Denmark and it brought back good memories. I went there to study in January 2018 and it was one of my most interesting travels. Oprah interviewed a few people why the Danes are considered the happiest in the world and all their responses were exactly the same responses I got when I interviewed some people when I lived there: Less space, less stuff, more living and more time with family and friends.

A typical Danish house or unit is smaller and simpler compared to say America or Australia. I stayed in six homes in three different cities (Copenhagen, Aarhus, Odense). I noticed first hand that most people don't have a lot of stuff in their houses which is partly due to the fact that they don't have or want a lot of space. They go out more. They attend social events. They spend more time with friends and family than at their jobs. I observed that they spend more time with their loved ones compared to other developed countries like Australia and New Zealand. One afternoon, I went to a swap-language meeting in Aarhus where locals are willing to share and teach Danish language to those who want to learn. We talked for hours. We discussed a lot of topics such as the Danish government, the Danish lifestyle, education system, other cultures settling in Denmark, employment opportunities for both Danish and non-Danish nationals, among others. Education and healthcare are free. You also receive some money to go university to help with your living expenses. Unemployment benefits are very generous. People know that even if they lose their jobs, they will be taken care of. Therefore, the general stress level is low.

How can we replicate the Danish lifestyle and increase happiness? Use less space, have less stuff and live more. Spend more time with friends and family. That's why I moved from a three-bedroom house in the outer suburbs of Melbourne into a small studio apartment close to the city so I can catch up with friends and family.

​I am happier.]]>Wed, 13 Dec 2017 12:23:56 GMThttp://renelopeque.com/lessons/simplifyAs an adult, I often question why we complicate things so much. We get ourselves into a huge mortgage just to buy that beautiful house near the beach. We buy the latest model of Audi TT to show off to our friends and family. We try so hard to get into a prestigious school. Some famous people went to that university and you want to go there too. We care too much about what other people say and think about us that we are willing to get ourselves into unnecessary trouble.

I do not know how it all started but this cycle is very commercially driven. Buying a house (real estate agents), getting a mortgage (banks and brokers), getting a car (manufacturers and car dealers) or getting admitted into an expensive and prestigious school (commercialised education). As these things are highly valued by society, we try to acquire them so people will think that we are rich and intelligent. And then what? In the meantime, you change your lifestyle drastically. You try to cut your expenses to prioritise your mortgage. You stopped going to concerts. You stopped dining at your favourite restaurant every Saturday night. You don't travel because you think your money is better off putting into your mortgage. You even stopped getting your Starbucks coffee on the way to work to save $25 a week. You cut these small things that give you joy.

I realised that the more I care about what other people think, the more I'm not being true to my values. So one day I decided to stop worrying too much about what other people think.

Stuff it, I said.

Then, I focused on my goals and stayed true to my values of simplicity and frugality. I moved out of my three-bedroom house and rented it out instead. I moved into a small studio apartment near my workplace and also close to the city. I was able to go out more and catch up with friends often. Having a good and balanced social life is more important than mortgage. Having those small things like dining at your favourite restaurants and trying different cafes helped me maintain my joy.

In the end, you cannot bring your house or car with you on your death bed. All that you will think and feel at that point in time will be the love that you shared with all your friends and family.

All those times (not money) well spent.
]]>Sat, 09 Dec 2017 03:21:32 GMThttp://renelopeque.com/lessons/i-wish-somebody-told-me-this-when-i-was-youngerIf you are not careful about how you spend your time, you will soon run out of it. And before you know it, it's too late to go back. It is impossible to go back. The time that you lose is the amount of life that you choose not to live.

Some say you have to live in the moment, do not dwell in the past and do not spend thinking too much about the future. To some extent, that is true. However, it does not give you an overall picture of the whole truth. And that truth is that life and time exist at the same time. Although they are two different concepts, one cannot exist without the other. You cannot call something 'life' without the passage of time. How can something or someone exist without measuring it against time? And time itself does not make sense if life does not exist. What's the point of time if no one is here to witness and experience its passage.

Once you understand the relationship of life and time, you will realise that talking about life by itself or time by itself is talking about the same thing and there is no point trying to distinguish between the two. And as human beings, we have the capacity to live beyond pure discussions or arguments of what life or time is. We can decide to fill our lives with meaningful experiences, travel and relationships with other human beings that cannot be measured.

Life is here to stay. Time will always be there. They are constants. You cannot change them. However, experiences, travel and relationships are variables. You definitely can change them. It is your decision to fill your life or time with meaningful and exciting experiences.]]>Sun, 03 Dec 2017 02:58:02 GMThttp://renelopeque.com/lessons/ups-and-downsThere will be times when you feel like you've done everything you could to reach your goals but is still not good enough. You're still behind your target. You feel like giving up. You want to throw the towel and tell the world you've had enough of its rules.

Then you go to bed.

You get up the next morning feeling refreshed, rejuvenated. That's because you had a good sleep and your cells were replenished overnight. You're ready to face the world again. You won't even realise that you had a really bad day yesterday.

So, when you're feeling down, sleep it off. Let your brain cells replenish. Tomorrow will be another chance to work on your goals.]]>